The Nonconformist

“It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.” 
― Albert Einstein

The dictionary meaning of the word, ‘nonconformist’ is a person who does not behave the way most people behave, i.e. someone who does not conform. This word was coined in England especially to refer to a person who does not conform to the Church of England, clearly with a negative overtone.

Forward nearly 400 years from then, today being a nonconformist is hip thing. A common trend I have observed is that almost everyone from the younger generation in India claims to be a nonconformist. Are they really? The harsh reality is that there are very few ‘real nonconformists’. Wearing a T-Shirt with Che Guevara printed on it, does not make you, a rebel or a nonconformist. In fact I find the young breed of Indians to be bunch of cowards, with almost identical plans for future, waiting eagerly to follow someone, who obviously has to be conformist. Unreasonable similarity in plans has evolved because of prevalent conformism. Furthermore, an ironic observation is that each self-proclaiming nonconformist has exact same complains against the system, but is extremely likely to follow the tried and tested path. A prerequisite to be nonconformist is the ability to think for yourself, and develop original ideas, which you later conform to.

Conformity is ingrained in the culture to such a level that going against the norms is considered transgression. I interact with so many people these days and can clearly highlight the trend of making choices, based on someone else’s experience. It starts at the college level, with students choosing the classes based on other’s opinion but not out of own interest. Ditto in choosing higher educational institutions (in country and abroad), places of work, to name a few. And the patterns of conformity become increasingly clearer with age. More than students, the employed 20-30-something are known for their extremely similar choices. Buying a house in the same neighborhood, going out to the same restaurants, buying the same brand of cars, shopping at the very same mall, and I could still go on and on. Conformity should be a subject of delight for a targeted marketing professional, in boosting sales.  

There are both, pros and cons, in being a nonconformist. This should certainly not encourage those who are not, to claim themselves to be one. My personal feeling is that the world would be more productive and creative, if more people had the ‘everyone-is-doing-it-so-why-should-I’ attitude, instead of ‘everyone-is-doing-it-so-why-shouldn’t-I’. Well, but that’s just me, a genuine nonconformist.

Glorification through Frivolous Reasons

A couple of months ago, I attended an open event, where in volunteers could pick any topic of their choice, and give a talk. There were 36 talks (6 talks going on in parallel) and no strict subject or format. Perhaps this is a perfect reflection of the open culture Bangalore is embracing. I too gave a technical talk and was surprised to see quite a few young students listen with interest, a talk on advance topic in computer science. And then I attended several non-technical talks. One such talk was about the presenter’s experience, while living in a very popular US city. I have always enjoyed listening to people’s experience, and hence went in, enthusiastically.

The next 45 minutes, was a pure insult, to an amazing city, to its people, and to the intelligence of the audience. The talk was based on shallow thoughts, affirmation of stereotypes, and total ignorance. Among several ludicrous points, I wish to share a few of them, along with supporting reasons, provided by the speaker.

“XYZ is a great city, because it experiences four different seasons.” Well, if this is actually what makes a city great, then most cities I know of, are great. However, one of my favorite cities in the US, Los Angeles would lose out, as it has summer-like weather for 9 months and spring-like for the remaining 3. Does having four well differentiable seasons make a city great?

“XYZ is a great city, because people can dance in public, yet no one will object to it.” I do not wish to make a counter argument to such a deprived point.

“What makes XYZ great is people do their work promptly.” The example the speaker gave here was how she was moved by seeing a city worker, promptly doing his duty, despite of heavy rains. To this audience asked, “Did you offer him any help?” She replied, “No. Why should I offer any help. It’s his duty, let him do it.” There is one word that comes to my mind to describe this, “hypocrisy”.

“There are no restrictions on having fun in XYZ.” Well, from a long time, I have had no restrictions on having fun, in any part of the world I have lived. This is a very subjective point and city has got nothing to do with it. I couldn’t help but use the figure of speech, small town mentality, to describe this reasoning.

“No Indian city has parks, but XYZ has many.” This was heavily criticized by every single member present. Bangalore with at least a park a neighborhood would be in par with most American cities, if not better, in this measure. Discrediting Indian cities on wrong issues makes no sense.

I have often said that places don’t make people, but people do make places. Improving your thoughts and actions will do a good deal of service to any city (state or country) you chose to live in. Uniqueness of city however is a different subject matter. In the larger context let’s understand a basic theory. American population to resources ratio is beyond compare to that of India. Hence the distribution of resources is naturally superior.  But glorifying frolicsome points about America and criticizing some points of India, without comprehending the root cause, is preposterous. At the end of this talk, I was motivated to give a talk, the next time this event will be organized, titled, “Busting myths about the US: Why I moved to India?”

PS: I have not used the name of the event as well as the city, as it would reveal the identity of the speaker. I’m not against any city or country, but against shallow thinking and spreading of stereotypes. I have a first had experience of the city (visited four times) which the central theme of this talk. This city has so much to talk about that 45 minutes would not do justice to the greatness of this city.

The Sage and the tricky question

This old Indian story is perhaps where the Schrödinger's cat experiment of the west, got its inspiration from.

A sage was highly reputed for giving accurate answers to all the questions thrown at him. Every student was in awe to take lessons from him. Naturally, like today’s Harvard or Stanford or IIT, the rejection rate at his institute was very high. One such student who had been rejected on three previous attempts, finally succeeded in getting admitted. Once he got admitted, he was determined to teach the sage a lesson and prove a point.

During a class once, by holding a tiny butterfly in his closed fist, he asked, “Master, I want to know from you whether the butterfly in my fist is dead or alive.” The sage smiled and replied, “Oh dear student, not only the butterfly, but the fate of the butterfly is in your hand. If you want it to be alive it will be, if you want it to be dead, it will be.” The student was surprised by this reply and realized his mistake. The sage was absolutely right, once more.

We are more likely to find answers to tricky questions in our hand. If we realize that we have the absolute power to make or break, on some instances, we can achieve to our full potential.

Decision Simplifying Equation

I have been engaging in public speaking for a bit now. Most of the times, I end up talking about entrepreneurship, multi-tasking and technology. My audience is either soon-be-graduating students or entry-level professionals. After the talk I get email enquires which I promptly reply as well. In such inquiry mails, I have seen a trend. Most people are confused about how to evaluate situations or people before making their choices. Personally, I have often found myself in similar situations and have tried to come up with an equation just to make my life a little easier (Also, being Statistical Modeling professional, I prefer equations which I can plug-and-play values for better clarity.)

So what is this ‘decision simplifying equation’ and why do I call it so? I’m totally against giving advice and trust adults need to make their own decisions. Lack of decision making ability implies lack of vision. You don’t need to be ‘visionary’, but not having a vision is not pardonable. The biggest problem with those without a vision, end up following someone else’s. When someone comes to me for advice, I believe it is my duty to help people analyze their situations, and let them make their own choices. Here is a generic guideline to analyze a situation or perhaps even people. (Yes, there is a difference in between analyzing someone and judging someone.)

Situations usually have some positive factors and some negative. If a situation is all positive or all negative, the choice is very straightforward. Let us say, a situation S is described as a combination of positives (P1, P2, P3…) and negatives (N1, N2, N3…). Let’s say you want to determine a prospective outcome O, which will simplify your decision. Intuitively, it is tempting to express O = (P1+ P2+P3+…) – (N1+N2+N3+…). Well, this is where I differ. I view, O = Largest (N1, N2, N3…). Let me put it numbers, to simplify this concept.

Say, S is dependent on P(1,7,3,4) and N(2,4,1).

In this case,        

O ≠ (1+7+3+4) – (2+4+1)

O ≠ 15 – 7

O ≠ 8

But O = Largest (2, 4, 1). O = - 4

To put the above equations in English, our outcomes depend mostly on the greatest negative factor that is associated with it. Knowing the biggest negative factor helps us understand the most dreadful prospective outcome. This helps us decide in favor or against the choices we are poised with. The positive factors are just bonus and we should not get carried away, relying on them. The additional trick is to evaluate each of the associated factors correctly, which comes with experience and discretion. 

The Accidental Choice

A King wanted to find the best groom for his daughter. A key measure in those days was ability to perform a task of bravery. The King’s minister suggested a dare, in which anyone who wishes to marry the princess would have to swim across a pond which had 10 starving crocodiles. Falling for the princess’ beauty and the wealth of the kingdom, almost everyone wanted to compete. As each man went near the pond, they were terrified by the sight of pond containing hungry crocodiles. The crowed on the banks of the pond grew further but none tried their luck.

In a while, there was a splashy sound and everyone noticed a young man swimming with all his energy. He tried as hard he could and managed to get to the other end. No sooner was he out of the pond, the cheering and celebration began. While he was still catching his breath, the king’s men dragged him to the arena for honoring him. He was honored and asked to speak a few words.

He began by saying, “I have two things to say. The second point first… whose idea was it to have just four real crocodiles and six fake ones. I would like to thank him for inducing greater fear in everyone's mind. I discovered this, when I was already in the water. And now the first one, who the hell pushed me into the pond? I did not jump on my own, but someone wanted to seek amusement by my death. I swam fast to save my life, more than anything else.”

So, here’s my observation  about the story:

• Accidental choices may turn out well, if you execute well.
• If you push someone with a hope to test them, and they end up executing well, they will achieve the highs which you once dreamt of.
• Some fears are exaggerated ones. To verify it, you should be willing to take chances.
• You do your best when it's a question of life and death.
• Finally, if a princess is being offered, it would not be a cakewalk to get her. Along with bravery, use some strategy to make her yours.

Through love's great power

Through love's great power to be made whole

In mind and body, heart and soul -

Through freedom to find joy, or be

By dint of joy itself set free

In love and in companionhood:

This is the true and natural good.

To undo justice, and to seek

To quash the rights that guard the weak -

To sneer at love, and wrench apart

The bonds of body, mind and heart

With specious reason and no rhyme:

This is the true unnatural crime.

PS: This is a great poem by Vikram Seth, expressing disappointment at Supreme Court's verdict, on Article 377

Top 5 Memories of 2013

Finally I found some time to working a long pending task, updating my blog. It’s been just over a week since we stepped into 2014 and I thought what better way to start writing, other than my top five memories of the year that went by. So, here I go:

#5 My friend’s visit to India

Just about I had started to miss my US life, my best buddy showed up in Bangalore. We are the kind of guys who never miss a single opportunity of having fun. We travelled to Kodaikanal and Goa. Like all our previous travels, these too were awesome.

#4 Starting a business and early taste of success

I always wanted to start my own business, one fine day. But starting Tationem just happened. My friends and I started this venture without much planning and once we stared it, we planned and executed it well. Getting featured in several magazines, giving interviews and the tag of being an ‘entrepreneur’ made a dream come true.

#3 Restarting life in Bangalore

If I had missed one thing most while staying in the US, it had to be my life in Bangalore. Being away from hometown had got to me in some ways and restarting had its own jitters. Getting used to the near-perfect weather of Bangalore wasn’t too hard though.

#2 The dream flight from LA to London and finally reaching Bangalore

If you have known me well, you probably know about my journey from Los Angeles to London. That was the best flight I have ever had in my life. It’s true; cities, journeys, workplaces, etc are nothing but the reflection of people we are associated with. After such an amazing journey, I was about to put a check on one of the items on my bucket list, moving back to India. We all have this goal that’s hard to describe or logically explain, yet we want it real bad. Yes, moving back to India was one such thing for me. You probably can guess my intensity by the number of people who actually return to India, once they leave Indian shores!

#1 Farewell, Cross Country Road Trip of the US

The year 2013 began and I had to say goodbye to my loved ones. I had lived in the US for nearly 5 years and some people had made my experience an incredible one. After the farewell, I took a cross country road trip of the US, starting from Lexington, KY, all the way till San Diego, CA. I travelled with my best buddy to the most part of trip, saw a couple of places I had always wanted to see and revisited a couple of places which I had fallen in love with. That road trip helped me understand that people make places and places are nothing without people.

I hope, 2014 too has such memorable times in store for both, you and I. Till then, keep having fun!