"We
change, we grow up, we goof up, we love, we hurt; we’re teenagers. We're still
learning" -Anonymous
I first thought of writing a
self-help-style article targeted at teenagers, but gave up on that idea quickly,
realizing that it would not go down well with my targeted audience. So I
decided to write this post for parents with teenage kids and others who have well
crossed the teenage, and may soon find this article useful.
The western society has been
well aware of the clichés associated with teenage, such as curiosity, rebellion
and, believing views of others in the same age group to be truly righteous. Perhaps
these issues could have been easily neglected in India, about two decades ago.
But our country is in a transition state, a migration from feudal system to a
modern industrialized society. That being the case, these issues have become
extremely relevant to the Indian society, especially in the large cities.
Observing these signs in
teenagers itself, doesn’t imply understanding the situation. What is crucial
here is to understand the reason why these issues remain prevalent. The first
reason is the physical changes that teenagers undergo. Without acknowledging
this fact, we can do little or nothing to help them cope up with this phase of
life. The second reason is their developing the ability to think on their own,
but with little or no experience.
To help the teenagers deal
with this sensitive phase, as adults we need to be patient and understand, and
hence the word, ‘art’ in the title. It is certainly tempting to punish and
apply the phrase, “spare the rod and
spoil the child”, when things don’t go our way. However research indicates
that punishment may help change their behavior only temporarily. Instead of
punishment, a positive reinforcement technique, where an individual is rewarded
for displaying a particular behavior or habit, is more beneficial.
Also talking to teenagers
seriously helps you win their confidence. Showing interests in their hobbies
and keeping up the tastes of current generation may be a little demanding, but
can be rewarding. And finally, treating them like grownups would help them understand
their responsibility. An example of this would be: If they fail to keep their
end of a commitment, do not keep your end. This will help them realize that you
take them seriously.
The previous generation,
perhaps, did not have the need to think through this as seriously as the
current generation. That is purely because the teenagers are well equipped,
curtsy Internet and other technological advancements. Depriving and punishing
should not be among the options, as these would fuel the already existing
rebellion tendencies.
