Time to get back!

After having spent just over 3 months back home, it’s time to get back to place where I started off from. And now is when I realize that 3 months, just over 90 days is too small a period. On such instances I’m reminded of the famous example cited by the great Albert Einstein to explain his theory of relativity, “If you sit on a gas stove for 2 minutes, those 2 minutes will be felt like two hours and if you have a conversation with a beautiful lady for two hours, those two hours will be felt like 2 minutes” (I can vouch for the later statement... I did experience it on a couple of junctures)

I realize that these times are filled with nostalgia and it would be apt to compare my present state of mind with the one, just over an year ago, when I left for the first time. Then, I had mixed feeling of excitement, nervousness and expectations. Now, it’s almost that the stage is set and I need to stick to my plans. There is little element of surprise left, which should ideally make things easy. But as they say, surprises can occur at any point in time, especially when you already are in a system and tend to anticipate things. So, again I am prepared for some surprises (rather shocks) and new challenges that I might have to face. Whatever is the case, I know one thing for sure, life is not going to be as flowery as it has been during these 3 months. The chivalry that I rediscovered in me (courtesy, my mom and few other noble souls) will soon be lost. The comforts and luxuries are definitely going to be a thing of past. In spite of all this, I’m looking forward for getting back.

During three months, I had my own highs and lows.

Some of the highs were:

• Meeting some of favorite people on a regular basis and those endless conversations

• Food (ask anyone away from home, the importance of homemade food. I gained over 5 pounds)

• Relaxation and Travel

Lows, I would like to mention a little softly:

• Disappointment and Differences (Many people left me disappointed. The root cause was 'over expectations' and inability to adapt to changing times I would say. I feel, I have learned some tricks to handle this in future)

• Troubled health (Ha! I had no control over this, but still would have preferred to be in the pink of my health all the time. It cut short my plans of meeting people and spending quality time)

All said and done, still I don’t know how things are going to be, a week from now. Well, that’s the beauty of life. No one can perfectly guess what’s stored in future!

PS: Thanks to you people, for making me feel special during these three months. I have missed you in the past and am surely going to miss you again, hopefully for not too long :)

Time Locked

It’s been a while since I returned from foreign land. And before getting back, I spent a fair amount of time away from home. I had always seen people complaining of bad infrastructure, overcrowded roads et al, once back from the west. Honestly speaking I never felt that way. But I did face some other problem. This one was subtle and hard to explain, I must admit.

When I came back, I had the same image of Bangalore, which I had seen nearly an year ago. However that was not the case. It was little hard to imagine this city undergoing some minor or major restructuring. Be it the signal free road to the new airport or badly damaged CMH road (due to construction work of Metro Rail), it was little hard to adjust. However any city goes through transition and one has to keep moving, keeping this thought in mind. After all one year isn’t that small a time frame.

I also observed this phenomenon in some other instances as well. Most of my conversations with my friends were either based upon incidents that took place over an year ago, or in the past couple of months. Last one year has become a big void and I doubt whether I would be able to fill it or not.

More hurting was to see a few people change, and change for worse in this time. Some, who were most trusted have been acting like strangers while some strangers have become good friends. Is the time lock responsible for this as well? Maybe yes or maybe not! Well that’s the way it has been so far. All I hope for, is I don’t experience this time lock factor once I get back to US. Because my mind would have the image of Athens, about 3 months back. Again 3 months isn’t that small a time frame for people to change. It's the ability to adapt to changing times and behavior, which is very crucial for us to come out of this time lock.

Truth be told...

I have been waiting to share this with my readers, for a while, but something or the other has kept me occupied for over a month. I came out with this writing to illustrate the three incidences that I recently experienced. Please don’t ask me about these three experiences, as few experiences are better left unshared. But I won’t keep you in total darkness. So here is the after-effect of all the three incidents. Each one a different one, but effect has been more or less the same.

In the first case, I was deeply hurt by someone’s words. In the second one I was again deeply hurt by someone’s actions. In the third one someone was deeply hurt by my words. What were people hurt for, in all these three cases? While I was giving it a deep thought I remembered a short story which I had read as a 12 year old. Nearly 14 years later, I’m compelled to share the same story with you. The story goes something like this…

Long, Long ago, in Greece there lived a king Andrew. He was known both as a kind-heart as well as a brave-heart. Along with these two good qualities, he was known for his wisdom and ability to deliver justice on all instances. Naturally he was very popular and loved by the people.

Andrew also had good relations with rulers of neighboring kingdom and ensured their complete entertainment when they came by to his province. This was one such occasion when king Cosmos came for a two day visit. Andrew gave him no opportunity to complain about any possible inconvenience. After meals and the dance program (as there were no other ways of entertainment back then) the king presented him one of the best shows. This show was the most talked-about by all the visitors, the buffoon’s comedy show.

During the course of this show, the buffoon played various tricks and used his humorous words to keep the crowed spellbound. But in doing so, there were several instances when the buffoon crossed his limits, which also took king Cosmos by surprise. For example, the buffoon once called king Andrew ‘incapable’ and further said, “had the king been really capable, he would have entertained his guests himself and not used a wise person like myself, instead”. The joke made Andrew along with crowed burst into laughter. Cosmos even asked Andrew, “How could you laugh at such a joke?” To this he said, “Look my friend, it is humor. One should have enough sense of humor and take things in a sporting manner”. After some time, the buffoon called the king as a person with ‘dull voice’, which was exactly the opposite. By now Cosmos had got a hang of this kinda humor and without raising any eyebrows he joined others in laughing. Later, the buffoon who stood as tall as 4ft 8 inches claimed that Andrew was shorter than him and challenged Andrew to stand next to him to prove him otherwise.

Things went on in the same way, with the buffoon cracking jokes on the king, his ministers and several others present there, until he called Andrew a ‘bald’ man. To this Andrew got extremely wild, cancelled the show and ordered the buffoon’s arrest. Everyone was taken by surprise as to why the king was unusually angry. Andrew decided to hang the buffoon after 3 days.
One the last day the Andrew visited the buffoon and asked him, if he had any last wish left. The buffoon said, “Your highness, before I die, I would like to know my mistake, for which I’m being hanged. I called you incapable, you didn’t mind it. I called you a person with dull voice, you didn’t mind it. I called you a short man, you didn’t mind it. I cracked several other jokes on you, your ministers and your guests, but you never objected. But when I called you bald, why you got so wild at me” Andrew paused for a while and said, “Whatever you said earlier about me was untrue except that I’m in fact bald. Though you spoke in a humorous manner, your calling me bald poked my ego. This truth was too bitter for me to handle.” The buffoon interrupted and said, “Your highness, you are known for delivering justice and hanging someone for hurting you unintentionally, justice will not be done! Please reconsider your decision” Andrew thought for a while and said, “I will excuse you. Promise me, not only in my case, but in any case, if you get to know about someone’s weaknesses, though it is undeniably real, never mention such points, even unintentionally. It can leave any person upset forever” Saying this, he again reinstated the buffoon as the official entertainer of the kingdom.

What moral I learned from this short story was… Truth is a subtle weapon, which can at times make a person happy and make the same person unhappy on different instances. Before speaking out truth, one has to evaluate the situation and then speak. Remember, some things are better left unsaid.

In the three incidents I mentioned earlier, I felt… the person who hurt me, pointed out one of weaknesses, which exists in me. In the second incidence, I caught a person, who at that moment was one of my most trusted, lying. I want to believe that lie turn out to be true, but truth was just too bitter. In the last incidence, my words, some intentional and some unintentional, hurt another person, close to me. I’m guessing I unnecessarily mentioned some incidents in which that person was wrong and claimed to be correct. May be I shouldn’t have done that!

That perhaps is the reason phrases such as bitter truth and harsh reality have been more popular than sweet truth and soft reality in our society.

Dummies Guide for: How to develop and maintain long-lasting relations?

In today’s world a lot is discussed about the complicated life, the true pursuit-of-happiness and the anguish of distancing from the own people. But such discussions often take place in between friends at a bar over the weekends and are often forgotten. But I feel it is very important for one to understand some of the essentials of developing and maintaining long-lasting relations. So, these are some of the points I chalked out and trust you not only enjoy reading this post, but also benefit from it…

1) The 3 C’s:
I have always advocated the importance of 3 C’s in any relation. Communication, Commitment and Compassion are not only most desired, but also most essential attributes of a healthy relation. Reach out to your near & dear ones and maintain a proper communication. It’s only the lack of communication that causes misunderstandings and widens the gap. To keep communication going strong, one needs to have a strong commitment. Recollect the instances when we require a person’s help with whom, we have not been in touch for a while; don’t we make an earnest effort to reach out that person. Compassion is an integral part of human life. The simple trick to follow compassion is to treat the other person, as you want the other person to treat you.

2) Synchronization:
In this techie world, this word can often be mistaken to the conceptual part of the Operating system. As it is essential in a computer’s OS, it is as much essential in human relations. I would like to give you a small work out. Think for couple minutes and try to recollect your 10 favorite people in your life (which could include your family members, friends, crushes et al). Time’s up… continue reading further. Okay, so let me explain how synchronization works in this case. If you recollected the names of your family members, it is quite natural. You would have spent a great deal of time with them and obviously there developed a strong bond. If you recollected your friend’s or your crush’s name, he/she would have been a person at your school, college, your neighbor, your colleague et al. Realize that under compulsory circumstances you spent enough time with these people and on similar topics. That is what has bonded you with them. To give you a deeper insight; in your college days, your best friend was from your section rather than other (in general). At your work place your favorite colleague is the one who has at some point in time been your team member. So, one needs this compulsory synchronization to come close to other and similar strategy to keep the relation going stronger.

3) Social Intelligence:
This term means the ability of understanding the needs that evolve in any relation. As humans, everyone is self-centered. To put it down bluntly, today’s life is a real bitch and every one is playing a pimp's role. So, people have to focus only and only on themselves. Well, this said and done, but without others help, certain things cannot co-exist. We are all social animals and cannot do everything alone. You never know which person you might need in your crunch time. Therefore, even if you have self interest in every action, for that to work well in your favor, one needs to do his/her homework. This homework is a bit complex, but can be rewarding beyond thoughts. Always try to remain in good books of people. For this, be a good listener and deliver what your promise. This builds trust and your next goal should be to retain it. If you cannot do that make sure you don’t over-promise and under-deliver. Say no, if you cannot and say yes, only if you can.

4) Attitude:
The golden phrase that describes the importance of attitude in human relations is, “Words at times can harm, but attitude seldom fails to heal.” Apologize when you screw up. All this takes is to give up that extra bit of ego. Understand the importance of people versus things. It is essential to make sacrifices for our near & dear ones when there is a situation of people over things. Any non-living thing is not irreplaceable, but some people are.

Last but not the least I would like to include one more secret, which is very hard to practice. Infinite-patience. Be considerate and overlook the shortcomings. Focus on positives and ignore negatives in a person. Remember, no one is pure evil. Essentially one needs to be magnanimous for a relation to remain stronger.

To end this post, I choose to borrow the concluding line from the Hindu epic, Gita, “To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction”

Minority Report

Well, I'm writing neither about the Tom Cruise starrer movie nor about the religious minorities which are discussed only during the election in our country.

Here, I’m uploading an article on a particular minority, which never gets its deserving share in any subject matter. It's written by one of the most prolific modern day writers, Aravind Adiga. Since I too belong to this category, I felt a kinda compulsion to upload this one. Hope you enjoy reading it!

Bachelor bigotry
- By Aravind Adiga

Shabana Azmi, an Indian actor, recently kicked up a stir by claiming that Muslims cannot easily buy homes in Mumbai. This may well be true: but as someone who recently looked for a place to rent in the city, I assure Azmi that there is a category of person even less wanted in this city than the Muslim. I belong to this category.

Mumbai's real-estate market suffers from a perpetual shortage of good, affordable housing. Landlords are picky. The lack of any real anti-discrimination law in the city means that the rental market is a bigot's paradise. Some landlords rent only to non-Muslims; some turn down Hindus; some permit only vegetarians in their flats. But almost none of them will gladly rent to a bachelor.

In the rest of the world, unmarried men are called by their proper, varied names – singleton, gay, divorced, celibate – but Indian society still lumps them into one Victorian-era category: the bachelor. And the landlords of Mumbai want nothing to do with this fellow. Where the bachelor lives, there the orgy follows; this is the great fear. In the landlord's imagination, half-clad women appear and disappear all day long through the bachelor's door; gasps of illicit pleasure rent the middle-class composure of the building; disgrace and scandal follow. Interestingly, the unmarried woman is not regarded as a sexually depraved type, and many landlords are prepared to rent to them. It is only the bachelor who is taboo.

Like so many of the stereotypes cherished by Indians, this one needs to go. All the unmarried men I know are hard at work – on a screenplay, a novel, or trying to find a wife. It's the fellows with the wedding rings, I notice, who get up to the debauchery. But even in India's most liberal city, old attitudes are surprisingly resilient.

I spent a week looking for places – and got told the same thing every time I liked a flat. Even if the landlord was bachelor-tolerant, he was helpless; many of Mumbai's buildings have rules that explicitly forbid unmarried men from renting or buying apartments. Especially my kind of unmarried man. Three species of bachelors inhabit Mumbai, it turns out. First comes the "company bachelor" – the fellow who works for American Express or another multinational; most landlords will take him on, grudgingly. Lower down the real-estate food chain is the "married bachelor" – who is living alone, but has a wife in Canada (or so he says). Last comes the "single bachelor" – no company job, no wife in Canada. This is me. Making things worse is that I describe myself as a "writer", a category that doesn't mean anything to the landlords of Mumbai; any young man sitting in front of a computer and typing all day must be playing games of some kind. Instead of doing solid, virtuous things like looking for a wife.

In Versova, a beach suburb in the far north of the city, I saw a second-floor sea-facing apartment with large glass windows. The waves came almost to the foot of the building. I imagined myself here, at a table, drawing energy from the ocean and hammering away on a Remington: I could turn out a hundred pages a day here – I could write a Les Miserables in a year.

"Just one question," the landlady said on the day we were to sign the lease. "When is your wife coming to join you?"
I explained; she stopped smiling.
"The last tenant was a married bachelor," she said. "He had a wife in Delhi, but he lived alone in this flat. And guess what he was doing here?"
"Tell me," I said, my heart sinking.
"He was familiar with young ladies."
"You don't say."
"And he was coolly running a brothel service. In this very flat."

The waves at Versova will never beat near my Remington. Some other writer will finish his Les Miserables in that flat – with his wife looking over his shoulder.

After two weeks of hunting, I did find a place – at a price far below what I was prepared to pay, and in a part of town with too much noise and pollution. I'd like to get out of here in a few months, but where can a bachelor go? A cousin of mine suggests that there is only one solution: marriage. Otherwise I should just pack up and move to Bangalore. He's probably right. I love Mumbai, but my time here may be drawing to an end. This city's not for bachelors.

I'm not sure whether Adiga's conclusion that Bangalore is a better city than Mumbai for bachelors is accurate or not!

The Father, the Son and the Donkey!

This writing is not my original work, unlike most of my previous ones. I’m writing, in fact re-writing a story, which I learned as a lesson in one of the languages that I studied in my third grade. I’ve been a big fan of this story and I have not only led my life by the teachings of this one, but have also recommended it to many of my friends. May be if you have known me well enough, you might probably have heard this from me sometimes. Another reason I am writing this story here is because I felt it was inapt to study this lesson at that age. People would find it practically beneficial when they go past 20. So, the story goes something like this…

Once, a father and his son go to a market to buy a donkey. They reach this market walking nearly 40 miles from their hometown. Once they purchase a donkey, they decide to use the donkey as the mode of transport and start riding back home. One their way, most of the people who come across them criticize the father-son duo for treating the donkey without compassion and for overburdening it. So, after riding for 10 miles they decide, they will walk the remaining distance along with the donkey. After having walked a distance of another 10 miles, they recollect that people this time had called the duo foolish for not making appropriate use of the available resource. Then the father realizes that their earlier choices were wrong and asks his son to ride on the donkey and he decides to walk along with them. People this time criticize the son for being selfish and insensitive to father’s needs. So, another 10 miles later, now it becomes the father’s turn to ride on the donkey and the son’s turn to walk along with them. This time the father faces severe criticism for being selfish and not caring about his young son. Now they get puzzled as to what might be the appropriate combination to opt for as all the combinations, duo riding the donkey, the duo walking along with the donkey, the son riding the donkey while father walks and the father rides the donkey while the son walks, had exhausted.

It was at this point in time when they were yet to travel a distance of 6 more miles; they come across a sage and consult him for his advice. The sage listens to the entire episode and gives a quite chuckle before he speaks. He asks them, “Having tried all the options did you both avoid criticism. No! So, what you must do… is a very simple option, if you answer this question.” Eagerly the father-son duo says “Yes”. The sage asks them, “Among all the options which one did you find the most convenient?” Both of them reply in unison, “The first option, when both of us were riding on the donkey”. “Then what is the need to be confused! Just do that. But remember, you have wasted 60% of journey, by trying to avoid criticism from the public. Had you not cared about it, by now you would have reached your destination happily”

Bitter truth is that many of us continue to waste 60% of our lives bowing to criticism from the public and end up doing what is NOT convenient to us. May be all of us should follow the sage’s advice in each and every step of our life. Because the choice is simple; Put yourself in discomfort, there will be criticism. Make yourself comfortable, there will be criticism. Why not go for the second option when we are sure of not being able to avoid criticism?

Realization, Apology and Beyond

This write up is based on my previous article, The Great Indian Paradox. So, in case you haven’t read that one, do it before you read this one!

My previous article invited a lot of criticism from quite a few of my able readers. This forced me to re-think on it, in terms of the concept, argument and conclusion. After an earnest effort I realized some serious shortcomings in it. They were… My conclusion was based upon very specific examples, and in doing so, I contradicted a golden rule, ‘exceptions don’t prove a law’. Many other reasons were brought to my notice as to why Indians travel abroad and live there, which I had not taken into consideration. At one point I decided to scrap that entire article, but realized that a person cannot be right all the time. Mistakes do happen, but once pointed out; the following actions must be taken. Acknowledge the fact that you were wrong, apologize for it and try to fix it.

So I apologize for my previous conclusion which was based upon a half-baked idea.

Here, I would like to sight some good counter examples to my previously sighted examples and conclude just the opposite of what I had concluded earlier.

A vast majority of Indians travel abroad for more opportunities at personal as well as professional front. If our country has less opportunities (compared to the developed countries), this doesn’t make our country ordinary. Also, just living in our own country doesn’t qualify a person to be termed a patriot. Moreover if a person lives abroad and contributes to his country, directly or indirectly, it certainly is an act of patriotism.

The prominent examples of such personalities which I would sight are Jiddu Krishnamurti, Amartya Sen, and of course Aravind Adiga.

For beginners, Jiddu Krishnamurti (JK as he was popularly known), was one of the awe-inspiring writers, public speakers and philosophers of the 19th century. He came from a very poor family and could barely speak English. But, during the British raj, Annie Besant took him into her custody, recognizing his potential and leadership qualities. This gave him a good exposure to various subjects including English. Later on he travelled to Europe and America giving public speeches in English about spirituality, psychological revolution, the nature of the mind, meditation, human relationships, and how to enact positive change in society. He continued living in Ojai (pronounced as O-high), California, for the rest of his life and was awarded UN peace medal in 1984. He couldn’t have achieved all this, had he not travelled abroad. Also his was a fair choice to opt for travelling abroad when it had boiled down to a prosperous life, growth and opportunities at one end or live in poverty, ill-health and illiteracy, instead.

It is highly unlikely that you haven’t heard about Amartya Sen. Even in his case, had he not travelled to the UK and subsequently to the US, it would have been almost impossible for him to win a Nobel Prize. (He won the Nobel Prize for Economics in 1998) He undertook travel, purely for his academic work and research purpose. There was more opportunity in these two countries than ours, so he could do what he did. Again would it be fair on us to expect him to have remained confined to our country and not made contributions to the economic advances of the world. I guess not!

The last, but not the least, example I would like to sight is that of Aravind Adiga, who won the 2008 Man Booker’s Prize for his book The White Tiger. Adiga, travelled to Australia along with his family at the age of 16. Later he went to the prestigious Columbia University in the US, where he obtained his degree in literature. Later, he travelled to the Oxford University on a scholarship to pursue his Masters. Now having that kinda educational background, it was only appropriate for him to take up a job opportunity in a firm which matched his standard. So, he worked for the Wall Street Journal and again undertook extensive travel. After he won the Booker Prize, in his interview, he credited his achievements to his job which provided him with extensive travel opportunities along with the people of India.

Now, would it not be appropriate for us to term these intellects as true patriots who have put us on the global map because of their contribution to the society. In deed this is true service to the nation.

All the above mentioned people achieved personal as well as professional growth by traveling abroad. So if a person wants to grow, by no means he/she becomes less patriotic towards his/her nation. A country becomes great only if its people achieve higher standards on both, personal as well as professional front.

These were just few names that I sighted, and I am sure you could find a few hundred more similar names without much efforts. Clearly the counter examples outnumber the earlier sighted examples. So, the conclusion based upon the counter examples must be definitely stronger and more accurate than the previous one drawn.

The Great Indian Paradox

I am writing this article, after a kind of discussion or rather call it an argument. With whom? Ah! That doesn’t really matter. But I guess my observation over past few months has forced me to write on this topic. So, here I go…

My first question is, “Is India a great country?” If you are an Indian you not only answered “YES” but also would have used some swear words at me in your mind for this weird question. Now my next question is… “If India is such a great country, why are many Indians trying not only to go abroad, but also to settle down there?” Ha! Now that’s a question which doesn’t have an obvious answer. Right?

I have couple of friends from Europe, namely from France and Germany. Even they have come to the US for their higher studies. I have had conversation with both of them about their future plans. Both have similar kind of plans, complete studies and get back home for a career. But most of my Indian friends have only one aim, or rather set of aims. It goes something like this… Complete studies, find a job, get a H1B visa (work visa), stay long enough so that they can obtain a green card (permanent US residency) and ultimately settle down here.

I have also had several conversations with some American folks. I have asked them, if given a chance would they prefer to work in India for some years. Their polite answer has been, India is superb country, which is certainly worth visiting. But when it comes to working, our preference remains US and only US. There is so much of cultural difference between India and US, the food is entirely different and the weather too doesn’t suit us.

I discussed these two instances, the European guys’ one and the American guys’ one, with a friend of mine. He was not at all surprised by their respective words and reaction. This prompted me to ask him some questions… “If the European guys feel US is more advanced than their home countries but still want to return to their home countries, because they miss their own people, own language , don’t Indians miss their home country, their own people and own language?” “If Americans feel that India is too different compared to US in terms of culture, climate and food, don’t Indians feel that US is too different with respect to the same parameters.” He was silent when asked these questions to him.

The only two conclusions I could draw from the above were; One, India is not a great country, otherwise why would people be so eager to go away and never come back to it. Second one; there must be something wrong with Indian people who are more than eager to leave their own motherland, culture and people, which they feel is great. Logic says that either one of the two conclusions must be true.

Different Seasons!

I am writing here, after one complete month’s interval. That’s too long a gap to update a blog. My sincere apologies for that.

For those into serious reading, might guess where I flicked this title from… Yes, from the famous novel by the same name by one of the most prolific writers, Stephen King. To give you an insight of this book, it’s a novel that comprises of four finest stories, of which three have been made into Hollywood blockbusters. Let’s stop at this point about the book, as I am too ordinary a critique to give my review on it.

The reason for me to use the same name is the similarity between the novel and this article. Naah! I am not writing four short stories… but four incidences that occurred here in past few days.

The first one…

On March 1st, 2009 it snowed like crazy in Athens, GA. The temperatures went down from 12 degrees C a day prior to this to -8 degrees C on that day. In one week the temperature gradually got to normal and to everyone’s surprise, it touched 28 degrees C on March 8th, 2009. On this day the sun was merciless on everyone’s scalp. (Though the temperature appears to be less, it gets very hot and humid out here). And today, on March 15th, 2009 after a warm and sunny week, it rained like crazy, bringing the mercury levels down to 4 degrees C. It’s hard to believe that how the weather conditions have paradoxically changed. Three consecutive Sundays and totally different weather on all occasions. Hard to believe and even harder to explain I should say!

The second one…

Having lived here for a fairly long time now, I have seen the kinda life-style that the westerners adopt. So, informing parents about their wedding a week or two prior to it is a normal practice here. But what I saw in a restaurant is worth writing. I saw four people, of which two were elderly couple and two were young couples (appeared to be). As they were sitting right behind me, unintentionally I ended up playing an eavesdropper and happened to listen to their conversation. The elderly woman said this, “Mark, your choice is excellent. Having interacted with Briana for almost one day, I am giving you a nod to go ahead with your engagement. Initially I was apprehensive about your marriage with her, as she isn’t a Southern Bell. (A young girl from Southern part of US is referred to as Southern Bell) But she is a very nice girl. I am proud of you my son!” The youngsters were all happy after hearing these words. My conclusion that the parents don’t have any say in their children’s marriage in the western culture, proved to be wrong.

The Third one…

A few days ago, I went to a kinda deserted place. While waiting for the bus, four African-American men approached me and started demanding some money. I happened to carry a lot of money that day (extremely rare for me to do that). Fearing that they might take away all the money that I had, instead of just $10 (which they demanded), I avoided giving them money using all my verbal skills for a while and then later escaped from there without any fuzz. Later, I shared this incident with many of friends, relatives etc. A common conclusion was drawn. African-American men are very dangerous. May be their poverty or laziness was the root cause of all evil. I lived by this faith for some time. But today, when I got a ride back home in taxi, I had to re-think on it. The driver, Derrick Malcolm was an African-American, which made me feel uncomfortable while boarding the cab. On my way back home, I had a very good conversation with him. He not only seemed to be a reasonable man, but also had very good general knowledge. Later on I got to know that he was an educated man and had served in the US Navy for a while. Driving a cab was his secondary source of income. I should admit he was the friendliest cab driver I had ever travelled with. This forced me to conclude that it’s is not right to brand a community as evil, taking into consideration few people. This was contradictory to my previous conclusion.

Last, but not the least…

If you have known me for a while, you may know that I have always considered marriage as a liability and not an asset. For the just concluded vacation I visited my friend. He has been happily married for 8 months now. I saw the manner in which his wife took his care, helped him get over the stress at office and consistently supported him. My friend is really lucky to have such a wonderful wife and vice versa. He too admitted that after marriage life was much better than that in the past. The first day I got the impression that life becomes all-good after marriage. I had started to believe that my conclusion in the past about married life was wrong. But slowly I started getting complains and negative sides by the second and the third day, mostly from his wife. There were fair amount of negatives they had to deal with, but these two optimistic guys have decided to focus on positives, which is not an easy affair. So, in this case, I still uphold my previous idea.

On my way back, I saw a quote on guy’s T-Shirt, which for sure made me chuckle. It read something like this… “96% men are fools, as only 4% of them stay single”

The above four incidents were a result of my deep observation in the past few days. No wonder that my University was closed for one week on account of the Spring Break!

Wish you a very happy spring season, the best among four different seasons.