In today’s world a lot is discussed about the complicated life, the true pursuit-of-happiness and the anguish of distancing from the own people. But such discussions often take place in between friends at a bar over the weekends and are often forgotten. But I feel it is very important for one to understand some of the essentials of developing and maintaining long-lasting relations. So, these are some of the points I chalked out and trust you not only enjoy reading this post, but also benefit from it…
1) The 3 C’s:
I have always advocated the importance of 3 C’s in any relation. Communication, Commitment and Compassion are not only most desired, but also most essential attributes of a healthy relation. Reach out to your near & dear ones and maintain a proper communication. It’s only the lack of communication that causes misunderstandings and widens the gap. To keep communication going strong, one needs to have a strong commitment. Recollect the instances when we require a person’s help with whom, we have not been in touch for a while; don’t we make an earnest effort to reach out that person. Compassion is an integral part of human life. The simple trick to follow compassion is to treat the other person, as you want the other person to treat you.
2) Synchronization:
In this techie world, this word can often be mistaken to the conceptual part of the Operating system. As it is essential in a computer’s OS, it is as much essential in human relations. I would like to give you a small work out. Think for couple minutes and try to recollect your 10 favorite people in your life (which could include your family members, friends, crushes et al). Time’s up… continue reading further. Okay, so let me explain how synchronization works in this case. If you recollected the names of your family members, it is quite natural. You would have spent a great deal of time with them and obviously there developed a strong bond. If you recollected your friend’s or your crush’s name, he/she would have been a person at your school, college, your neighbor, your colleague et al. Realize that under compulsory circumstances you spent enough time with these people and on similar topics. That is what has bonded you with them. To give you a deeper insight; in your college days, your best friend was from your section rather than other (in general). At your work place your favorite colleague is the one who has at some point in time been your team member. So, one needs this compulsory synchronization to come close to other and similar strategy to keep the relation going stronger.
3) Social Intelligence:
This term means the ability of understanding the needs that evolve in any relation. As humans, everyone is self-centered. To put it down bluntly, today’s life is a real bitch and every one is playing a pimp's role. So, people have to focus only and only on themselves. Well, this said and done, but without others help, certain things cannot co-exist. We are all social animals and cannot do everything alone. You never know which person you might need in your crunch time. Therefore, even if you have self interest in every action, for that to work well in your favor, one needs to do his/her homework. This homework is a bit complex, but can be rewarding beyond thoughts. Always try to remain in good books of people. For this, be a good listener and deliver what your promise. This builds trust and your next goal should be to retain it. If you cannot do that make sure you don’t over-promise and under-deliver. Say no, if you cannot and say yes, only if you can.
4) Attitude:
The golden phrase that describes the importance of attitude in human relations is, “Words at times can harm, but attitude seldom fails to heal.” Apologize when you screw up. All this takes is to give up that extra bit of ego. Understand the importance of people versus things. It is essential to make sacrifices for our near & dear ones when there is a situation of people over things. Any non-living thing is not irreplaceable, but some people are.
Last but not the least I would like to include one more secret, which is very hard to practice. Infinite-patience. Be considerate and overlook the shortcomings. Focus on positives and ignore negatives in a person. Remember, no one is pure evil. Essentially one needs to be magnanimous for a relation to remain stronger.
To end this post, I choose to borrow the concluding line from the Hindu epic, Gita, “To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction”
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