The Art of dealing with Teenager’s issues

"We change, we grow up, we goof up, we love, we hurt; we’re teenagers. We're still learning"                     -Anonymous

I first thought of writing a self-help-style article targeted at teenagers, but gave up on that idea quickly, realizing that it would not go down well with my targeted audience. So I decided to write this post for parents with teenage kids and others who have well crossed the teenage, and may soon find this article useful.

The western society has been well aware of the clichés associated with teenage, such as curiosity, rebellion and, believing views of others in the same age group to be truly righteous. Perhaps these issues could have been easily neglected in India, about two decades ago. But our country is in a transition state, a migration from feudal system to a modern industrialized society. That being the case, these issues have become extremely relevant to the Indian society, especially in the large cities.

Observing these signs in teenagers itself, doesn’t imply understanding the situation. What is crucial here is to understand the reason why these issues remain prevalent. The first reason is the physical changes that teenagers undergo. Without acknowledging this fact, we can do little or nothing to help them cope up with this phase of life. The second reason is their developing the ability to think on their own, but with little or no experience.

To help the teenagers deal with this sensitive phase, as adults we need to be patient and understand, and hence the word, ‘art’ in the title. It is certainly tempting to punish and apply the phrase, “spare the rod and spoil the child”, when things don’t go our way. However research indicates that punishment may help change their behavior only temporarily. Instead of punishment, a positive reinforcement technique, where an individual is rewarded for displaying a particular behavior or habit, is more beneficial.

Also talking to teenagers seriously helps you win their confidence. Showing interests in their hobbies and keeping up the tastes of current generation may be a little demanding, but can be rewarding. And finally, treating them like grownups would help them understand their responsibility. An example of this would be: If they fail to keep their end of a commitment, do not keep your end. This will help them realize that you take them seriously.

The previous generation, perhaps, did not have the need to think through this as seriously as the current generation. That is purely because the teenagers are well equipped, curtsy Internet and other technological advancements. Depriving and punishing should not be among the options, as these would fuel the already existing rebellion tendencies.