Chronicles of Living Alone

It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.

~ George Washington

It’s a popular belief that living alone is a miserable thing in life. Well, my experience so far has revealed something different. Though my experience was the basis of this post, I didn’t write this article keeping in mind any specific individual. This article defies the rhetoric ‘The Miseries of Living Alone’.

Most of us are raised with the idea that humans are social animals and it is almost impossible for an individual to live alone. And if we grow up surrounded by people and seldom undertake travel, such an idea only gets further rigid.

In my experience, living alone gives an individual the highest degree of liberty. You get all the freedom to make a suitable decision. I see that as a chance to enhance your individuality, in this world full of copycats. It’s not that such decisions never go wrong, but if they do, you have no choice but to take the entire blame on yourself and look for a fix yourself. Believe me, the ability of take the blame serves as the first step in the journey of self improvisation. Then again, those who fear failure and shy away from responsibility, and those seeking comforts in other’s shelter may not agree upon this.

My second point is, living alone teaches the value of both, people as well as things. If you ever set up a house, which has nothing but four walls and a ceiling, you will realize the importance of a couch, table, chairs and even a mattress per se. And even after putting such things in order, there isn’t any honeymoon period. The rule of thumb when you live alone is, “If you drop it, you pick it. If you want it, you make it happen” If you ever get a helping hand in this regard, be it from of your parents, siblings, friends or your spouse, you will realize how important they are in your life. You really learn to appreciate people, even for small acts, which otherwise go unnoticed.

Lastly if you are wondering, how can one, who has been in the ‘comfort zone’ throughout life, live through this transition? Well, for those I would like to paraphrase some lines I read a few days back. “The human mind is funny. At first it is scared of the change. Then it displays a clear resentment. With time it learns to adapt to these changes. Enough time passes and it starts getting so comfortable with these changes that living sans them may become harder”

Also, perception plays a big role here. The very same glass can be viewed as half-empty or half-full. With reference to this post, what some view as loneliness, I view it as solitude. The ‘me-only’ time is fast becoming a scarce resource.

And Then...

The story that I have posted in this article is NOT my own work. I read it somewhere and would have been happy to give all the credit to its original author, if only the story had not ended with this line, ‘Written by Anonymous, with a hope to benefit many’. I’m paraphrasing the same story.

A rich American businessman was alone on a vacation in one of those exotic coastal villages of Mexico. Like most of the American tourists in Mexico, he went to a fishing pier, privately owned by the beach resort where he lived. In his five days of stay, he observed an interesting trend. A Mexican fisherman would go fishing in his small boat and would come back with a basket full of fishes, in about two hours. Out of curiosity, he asked the fisherman, “If you spend a few more hours, you could have more baskets of fishes. Why do you get back so quickly?” The fisherman replied, “I’m a busy man. Moreover this much fish is enough for my family and remaining I sell in the local market, which helps me earn my livelihood” Taken by surprise of the fisherman’s naivety, he said, “I have an MBA from Harvard and own a finance company in New York. So, I can help you streamline your process and expand your business” The fisherman replied, “I would love to get inputs from such an intelligent man like you” Then he asked, “First tell me, what keeps you so busy that you don’t want to invest more time to boost your income” The fisherman replied, “Well, after fishing, I drop my kids to school. Then, I and my wife cook. After which, I bring my kids back from school and we all eat together. Getting together with some friends for sipping wine and barbeque occupies the rest of my time. Of course I play the guitar during these gatherings. And there goes my day which compels me to sleep early so that I should be up early the next day to go fishing”. With a sarcastic chuckle on his face, he told the fisherman, “Look, your process is not efficient. If you spend more time fishing, you can sell more and with that extra money, you can buy your own motor boat by this year end. This would allow you to gather more fish in less time and if you continue working hard, ignoring your daily chores, you can then, may be, move to Los Angeles and do direct business with us Americans” Eagerly the fisherman asked, “And then…” Realizing his interest he continued, “Then you may want to focus on your own packaging company. Once you start on your own, you surely may want to consider listing it in New York City and move there from LA”. Again asked the fisherman, “And then…” “Well, if things work out well for you, you will be able to retire in next 15 years.” “And then…” “After retirement you can move to some calm village, enjoy the bright sunshine, spend time with your kids, sip some wine and play guitar with your friends” After listening to the entire plan given by the Harvard educated businessman, the fisherman replied, “Your plan isn’t good. To do what I’m doing currently, you are suggesting a path that wastes 15 years of my life. Am I not doing currently, what you want me to do eventually” He had no answer for this question and he thought in his mind, “This fisherman is leading a life, right now, which I plan to have 15 years from now. And in those 15 years I will have to give up all the simple, but essential, pleasures of my life, which this guy isn’t. It’s about time for me to start rethinking on my life choices”

I’m not sure how many of us actually give up enjoying each day at present, in a hope that we would be able to enjoy more in future. Life’s pleasures don’t really work like an investment. If we give up having fun today, we simply lose it. Working insanely hard so that you will be able to lead a great life in future would be something like cooking nonstop for one week, in a hope that the cooked meal will last for next one month and we will have able to relax in the coming weeks. By doing so, we would only exhaust ourselves and see our main purpose rotting, right in front of us. Keeping in mind the concept of ‘expiry date’ could certainly help us make wiser choices in life.

Psychology & Sales

When we read about sales of large corporations, we are spellbound by the numbers. And sometimes in our mind comes the question, ‘how the hell do these companies manage to get such high volume sales?’ This question is valid though most people conclude that it’s just an outcome of huge money these corporations are able to pump in. Well, this is true, but not entirely true. Though I have no formal education in Psychology or Sales, I could make this claim, with some confidence. They say a University is a great place to exchange and learn new ideas. Absolutely! An informal discussion that I had with a psychology student made me aware of some simple principles of human psychology do help in boosting sales.

Most people visit a grocery shop for the following products (esp. true in the US), Milk, Bread, Vegetables, Meat, Ready-to-Eat products. In the current times when the markets are driven by the focus on customer's convenience, it would be intuitive to club all the above mentioned products together. However, if you observe carefully you will realize that milk and milk products are placed farthest from the vegetables and fruits. The aisle for meat products is never adjacent to the aisle containing bread or ready-to-eat products. Now is this arrangement a counter-intuitive set up or a deliberate move? Of course it is a deliberate move. By placing the ‘frequently-bought’ products in a scattered manner, the store gets an opportunity to display more and more products that one might buy. Trust me, these are the products which are never on your shopping list yet you end up buying them, and spend a comparable proportion of your budget.

Another interesting point that came in my discussion was, how an arrangement of few seemingly unrelated products, boosted the sales. It’s true, generally milk, beer and diapers are placed in a close proximity in most grocery stores. Why? Simple, people with kids are most likely to buy milk as well as diapers. Couples find it hard to handle young kids, which makes, going to bars, difficult. So, such people are likely to pick up some beer as well. A display of big collection of beers would definitely make them more vulnerable to buy it.

Now recollect your actions carefully, keeping the above points in mind. You too possibly have fallen for such a set up, involuntarily. There could be several such trivial points that may be put in practice that help boost the sales. The trick is in knowing your customer’s psychology. If you can generalize a few points based on the culture, climate and perhaps financial status, you could work wonders.