Impulsiveness

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape one hundred days of sorrow.”

- Chinese Proverb

My last few articles have definitely been different from the way I’ve written in the past. However I received a numerous feedbacks, most suggesting that I should write something which could be comprehended without much effort. Keeping in with the spirit of my old style, here is the story, which I’m rewriting.

Most of us would know who Angulimala was. If not, don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to shoot yourself. Over the course of this story you shall certainly find out who he was. The word ‘Angulimala’ in Sanskrit means ‘Garland of Fingers’. This was the title given to a boy whose earlier name was ‘Ahimsaka’. He was a very good student and it was this popularity, which got him the envy of his peers. They started spreading the rumors of him having an affair with his teacher’s wife. The teacher initially ignored all that was being said but later succumbed to these rumors. Instead of clarifying it with Ahimsaka he decided to punish him in an indirect way. He assigned him a task of, killing a thousand people and make a garland out of their index fingers. Trusting the teacher’s words blindly, Ahimsaka went to woods in search of people whom he could kill. He soon became a monster and whose only aim was to kill people. This was reported to the king who ordered the killing of this freak, who was now known as Angulimala. By now, Angulimala had become unstoppable and none of the soldiers sent by the king succeeded in nabbing him. So, the king persuaded his mother to visit him and advise him. Many were sure that he would not even spare his mother as he was just one short of the magical number of thousand index fingers. Buddha who often wondered in the same jungle realized that if he didn’t intervene now, he would witness a son killing his own mother. He appeared before Angulimala who was joyous of finding his 1000th prey. Buddha patiently said to him, “I shall allow you to kill me, but before that, you should fulfill my wish” In the eagerness of achieving his target, he agreed. Buddha gave him a task of bringing him an attractive leaf from the woods. This was no big deal. He was back in a flash with a leaf that he had plucked from a nearby tree. Buddha smiled and said, “Now, I would like you to attach this leaf back to the same branch”. Angulimala was confused and asked Buddha, “How is that possible?” The Buddha replied, “When you cannot attach a simple leaf back to its original position, do you think you will ever be able to give back 999 lives and their index fingers" Buddha’s profoundly wise deed reformed Angulimala, who later followed Buddha and became a Buddhist monk, preaching ahimsa. Yes, there are many things that we cannot undo in this life, yet anyone can reform.

There are several human emotions that this story portrays: jealousy, suspicion, and impulsiveness. The teacher’s impulsive reaction to rumors resulted in Ahimsaka becoming Angulimala. For Angulimala, it was initially the blind faith in his teacher and then the madness of achieving a number goal which almost got him killed. It required the great Buddha and his infinite wisdom to reform someone who had lost track. Today, if we chose to react in an impulsive way, even Buddha might not help us, not because he doesn’t exist but because he would be tired of reiterating his long taught lesson. It would make sense for us to learn from someone else’s mistake and avoid being impulsive. Being impulsive would assure us nothing but a life full of repentances.

Tapped in the Patterns

"It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Jiddu Krishnamurti

How often are we influenced by the societal patterns in our day to day life? If you ask me, I would say most people are working hard to fit into it. Having observed this, I got a little curious to know the reason behind it? While on my pursuit of being inquisitive on this subject matter, I assumed to most part that following a set pattern must have some benefits, otherwise, why would an overwhelming majority of people adopt this line of practice.

With very little study I realized that there was absolutely no benefit in what seemed like a popular practice. The main reason why most choose to follow patterns is because they seem to find a sense of security in doing so. The point is, people value ‘doing a thing’ more than comprehending ‘why it is being done’?

Right from a young age, a person tends to compare himself / herself with someone and concludes on being better or worse at something. Imagine a situation where in there was no comparison made, what would happen? Probably people wouldn’t know who is better or who is not. If people fail to judge every other person, in essence there would be no harm done. However it’s the attribute of the weak to energize themselves through someone else’s weakness. The main problem is that most people have preferred to remain lazy and not question whether the actions they are supposed to take, is logical or not.

There are two main obstacles in the path of evolving from this idea of following patterns. The first one: lack of desire to understand the real purpose behind actions that we take. It's basically a lot of hard work. Ironically, it often takes a calamity to live in present and look for the reason. If things go exactly as prescribed, no one would question existing phenomena. Only when it doesn't work, people seem to look beyond it. The second one: the fear that is induced in our minds and constantly we are made to believe that these are the boundaries we must live within. The idea of fear is often introduced either to control others emotionally or financially. What I have realized of late is, if there is something that doesn't make sense or is too hard to comprehend, either it is a trap with a motivation of to control us or it financially benefits the creator.

At times it seems much easier to get intelligent (read as egoistic) people to change their line of thinking compared to the ignorant. Just by asking a question, "Why should you live by others guidelines?” may do the trick. Otherwise it is almost impossible to overcome these shackles which have been interwoven in several ways over several ages.

India: Land of ‘Old Immigrants’

Last week, India celebrated Diwali, the festivals of lights. And the modern Indians flooded the social networking sites with posts related to the same festival. It’s a good way to make people across the world familiar with our festivals. This prompted an American friend to inquire about the significance of this festival. Hardest are the questions whose answers are sort of obvious. After a long pause, I explained to him that there are various beliefs behind celebrating this festival, depending on what part of the country one comes from. I knew the various beliefs simply because the state I grew up has different reason behind celebrating Diwali compared to the state I currently reside in. Probably the state where my ancestors came from has its own explanation as well. That’s when he asked me this question, to find an answer for it; I had to do a small research. The question was, “Most of you have the same religious background, similar culture yet varying definition of the same festival. Why?”

Had I known the right phrase to “google” I would have been able to answer this question quickly. So I started looking up for reasons why each part of our country has this subtle difference in culture. I was astonished by some of the findings. The best explanation I found was from an article by Justice Markandey Katju. Justice Katju is a person who immensely inspires me through his blunt talks and logical views. In fact his style often reminds me of my own father’s style.

A lot of us are familiar with the fact that the USA is called the land of immigrants with more than 60% of its population being descendents of Europeans immigrants. However this immigration was about 500 to 600 years back, which is fairly recent, compared to the immigration to India from north-west and to some extent from north-east, which began about 10,000 years ago. So this gives rise to the question, who are the true Indians? Many would be tempted to jump to the conclusion that it would be Dravidians. It would surprise many if I wrote that even Dravidians immigrated to the present day India from north-west part. The evidence of this is very interesting. Even today, there are more than two million speakers of a language called Brahui, in regions of Afghanistan. What makes it further interesting is that Brahui is a Dravidian language, which has a high degree of similarity with Tamil. Immigration from south to north-west seems counter-intuitive as north-west fits nowhere near south, in terms of human habitability index. Justice Katju further concludes that the true Indians in that case would be about 5% of today’s population, making India a country with 95% ‘old immigrants’.

This leaves little room to be surprised about the fact that even our religious scriptures have multiple versions. Take for example, the Ramayana, which has so many versions and no single of which could be claimed as the authentic version. Each is as authentic as the other is. I suppose this would be the only logical explanation behind such a diversified culture that we have in India today, in spite of similar religious beliefs. Probably, all immigrants adopted a common platform, with their own interpretation and spirit depending on the geography, which makes our country as multifaceted as it is today.

Two Poems

Sonnet 57: By William Shakespeare

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu.
So true a fool is love that in your will,
Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

Invictus: By William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

These two poems, written in two different contexts, by two different poets and in two different connotations, exhibit two different situations in life...

1) The mind of a heartbroken lover feels time trapped in the past. Even his best efforts may not do him/her enough good to overcome this condition.

2) A man on whom all have given up hope, due to harsh circumstances can fight back without letting his situations affect him and conquer the times.

Perhaps when we find that the sources of our hardships lie in someone else, it is hard to overcome it. If the source is within you, it’s lot easier to exhibit your strengths.

Guilty: Unless proven Innocent

“An intellect is someone whose mind watches itself“- Albert Camus

Recently the Planning Commission, a key decision making entity of Govt. of India, came up with some interesting numbers to define poverty. An income of Rs 32 or below per day and Rs 26 or below per day, respectively in urban and rural India could place an individual in the below poverty cap. Those of us have lived in India for long enough realized how little those numbers are to lead a life and came down all guns blazing on the Govt. Fair enough, if the Govt. commits a mistake, the society is not going to be a lame observer, was the clear message sent across. Of course this post is neither to bash the Govt. nor to support it. What I intend to convey here is, unless we have a fair understanding of the matter it makes all the sense to refrain from passing judgments.

Let us try to understand some facts, which I bet more than 90% of those passionate Govt. bashers don’t seem to consider. They say, statistics can be used to prove almost anything. Yes, it’s a very tricky discipline. Firstly, what does Rs 32 per day as per capita translate into? An average Indian family size is supposed to be made up of five people. In case of the lesser educated class, the average size seems to be slightly higher. Let us say six members per family. So for such a family to be placed in the below poverty category would be a case of their income below (32x6x30) = Rs 5760 per month. Ah, this doesn’t sound too bad, right?

Going further it’s important to understand, who fall into the below poverty category? These are the people most likely belonging to the unskilled labor, who earn their living working in the unorganized sector, say your domestic help. If the Govt. were to take the voice of the middle class, which is the most active on social media, seriously and overhaul their calculation as this: Monthly income below Rs 9000 would be categorized as below poverty line, which means the per capita cap now would be Rs 50 per day. Would the middle class be happy about it? The answer is simply NO. Why? The Govt. has limited resources and cannot lay itself open to extra expenses. The possible way would be to introduce a minimum wage act, like in the developed countries, and make sure the unorganized sector gets paid more from their employers. This means your domestic help would have legal rights for much higher salary than what he/she is making today. This would only affect the pockets of the middle class and I can safely say that if the middle class gets know this solution, they would be the first to support the Govt., in a desperate attempt to fight the current inflation.

Only if the middle class was less hypocritical, we wouldn’t have had a situation of being judged guilty unless proven innocent. What the semiliterate population needs to understand is that the media’s job is to supply raw data and expect the society to process it in such a way that there arises an ambiguity. That’s the beauty of journalism, creating sensation out of simple facts, which could just go unnoticed. The bottom line is, if you aren’t interested in making that extra effort of processing information, stop being judgmental. This holds good in any walk of life.

Chronicles of Living Alone

It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.

~ George Washington

It’s a popular belief that living alone is a miserable thing in life. Well, my experience so far has revealed something different. Though my experience was the basis of this post, I didn’t write this article keeping in mind any specific individual. This article defies the rhetoric ‘The Miseries of Living Alone’.

Most of us are raised with the idea that humans are social animals and it is almost impossible for an individual to live alone. And if we grow up surrounded by people and seldom undertake travel, such an idea only gets further rigid.

In my experience, living alone gives an individual the highest degree of liberty. You get all the freedom to make a suitable decision. I see that as a chance to enhance your individuality, in this world full of copycats. It’s not that such decisions never go wrong, but if they do, you have no choice but to take the entire blame on yourself and look for a fix yourself. Believe me, the ability of take the blame serves as the first step in the journey of self improvisation. Then again, those who fear failure and shy away from responsibility, and those seeking comforts in other’s shelter may not agree upon this.

My second point is, living alone teaches the value of both, people as well as things. If you ever set up a house, which has nothing but four walls and a ceiling, you will realize the importance of a couch, table, chairs and even a mattress per se. And even after putting such things in order, there isn’t any honeymoon period. The rule of thumb when you live alone is, “If you drop it, you pick it. If you want it, you make it happen” If you ever get a helping hand in this regard, be it from of your parents, siblings, friends or your spouse, you will realize how important they are in your life. You really learn to appreciate people, even for small acts, which otherwise go unnoticed.

Lastly if you are wondering, how can one, who has been in the ‘comfort zone’ throughout life, live through this transition? Well, for those I would like to paraphrase some lines I read a few days back. “The human mind is funny. At first it is scared of the change. Then it displays a clear resentment. With time it learns to adapt to these changes. Enough time passes and it starts getting so comfortable with these changes that living sans them may become harder”

Also, perception plays a big role here. The very same glass can be viewed as half-empty or half-full. With reference to this post, what some view as loneliness, I view it as solitude. The ‘me-only’ time is fast becoming a scarce resource.

And Then...

The story that I have posted in this article is NOT my own work. I read it somewhere and would have been happy to give all the credit to its original author, if only the story had not ended with this line, ‘Written by Anonymous, with a hope to benefit many’. I’m paraphrasing the same story.

A rich American businessman was alone on a vacation in one of those exotic coastal villages of Mexico. Like most of the American tourists in Mexico, he went to a fishing pier, privately owned by the beach resort where he lived. In his five days of stay, he observed an interesting trend. A Mexican fisherman would go fishing in his small boat and would come back with a basket full of fishes, in about two hours. Out of curiosity, he asked the fisherman, “If you spend a few more hours, you could have more baskets of fishes. Why do you get back so quickly?” The fisherman replied, “I’m a busy man. Moreover this much fish is enough for my family and remaining I sell in the local market, which helps me earn my livelihood” Taken by surprise of the fisherman’s naivety, he said, “I have an MBA from Harvard and own a finance company in New York. So, I can help you streamline your process and expand your business” The fisherman replied, “I would love to get inputs from such an intelligent man like you” Then he asked, “First tell me, what keeps you so busy that you don’t want to invest more time to boost your income” The fisherman replied, “Well, after fishing, I drop my kids to school. Then, I and my wife cook. After which, I bring my kids back from school and we all eat together. Getting together with some friends for sipping wine and barbeque occupies the rest of my time. Of course I play the guitar during these gatherings. And there goes my day which compels me to sleep early so that I should be up early the next day to go fishing”. With a sarcastic chuckle on his face, he told the fisherman, “Look, your process is not efficient. If you spend more time fishing, you can sell more and with that extra money, you can buy your own motor boat by this year end. This would allow you to gather more fish in less time and if you continue working hard, ignoring your daily chores, you can then, may be, move to Los Angeles and do direct business with us Americans” Eagerly the fisherman asked, “And then…” Realizing his interest he continued, “Then you may want to focus on your own packaging company. Once you start on your own, you surely may want to consider listing it in New York City and move there from LA”. Again asked the fisherman, “And then…” “Well, if things work out well for you, you will be able to retire in next 15 years.” “And then…” “After retirement you can move to some calm village, enjoy the bright sunshine, spend time with your kids, sip some wine and play guitar with your friends” After listening to the entire plan given by the Harvard educated businessman, the fisherman replied, “Your plan isn’t good. To do what I’m doing currently, you are suggesting a path that wastes 15 years of my life. Am I not doing currently, what you want me to do eventually” He had no answer for this question and he thought in his mind, “This fisherman is leading a life, right now, which I plan to have 15 years from now. And in those 15 years I will have to give up all the simple, but essential, pleasures of my life, which this guy isn’t. It’s about time for me to start rethinking on my life choices”

I’m not sure how many of us actually give up enjoying each day at present, in a hope that we would be able to enjoy more in future. Life’s pleasures don’t really work like an investment. If we give up having fun today, we simply lose it. Working insanely hard so that you will be able to lead a great life in future would be something like cooking nonstop for one week, in a hope that the cooked meal will last for next one month and we will have able to relax in the coming weeks. By doing so, we would only exhaust ourselves and see our main purpose rotting, right in front of us. Keeping in mind the concept of ‘expiry date’ could certainly help us make wiser choices in life.

Psychology & Sales

When we read about sales of large corporations, we are spellbound by the numbers. And sometimes in our mind comes the question, ‘how the hell do these companies manage to get such high volume sales?’ This question is valid though most people conclude that it’s just an outcome of huge money these corporations are able to pump in. Well, this is true, but not entirely true. Though I have no formal education in Psychology or Sales, I could make this claim, with some confidence. They say a University is a great place to exchange and learn new ideas. Absolutely! An informal discussion that I had with a psychology student made me aware of some simple principles of human psychology do help in boosting sales.

Most people visit a grocery shop for the following products (esp. true in the US), Milk, Bread, Vegetables, Meat, Ready-to-Eat products. In the current times when the markets are driven by the focus on customer's convenience, it would be intuitive to club all the above mentioned products together. However, if you observe carefully you will realize that milk and milk products are placed farthest from the vegetables and fruits. The aisle for meat products is never adjacent to the aisle containing bread or ready-to-eat products. Now is this arrangement a counter-intuitive set up or a deliberate move? Of course it is a deliberate move. By placing the ‘frequently-bought’ products in a scattered manner, the store gets an opportunity to display more and more products that one might buy. Trust me, these are the products which are never on your shopping list yet you end up buying them, and spend a comparable proportion of your budget.

Another interesting point that came in my discussion was, how an arrangement of few seemingly unrelated products, boosted the sales. It’s true, generally milk, beer and diapers are placed in a close proximity in most grocery stores. Why? Simple, people with kids are most likely to buy milk as well as diapers. Couples find it hard to handle young kids, which makes, going to bars, difficult. So, such people are likely to pick up some beer as well. A display of big collection of beers would definitely make them more vulnerable to buy it.

Now recollect your actions carefully, keeping the above points in mind. You too possibly have fallen for such a set up, involuntarily. There could be several such trivial points that may be put in practice that help boost the sales. The trick is in knowing your customer’s psychology. If you can generalize a few points based on the culture, climate and perhaps financial status, you could work wonders.

Random Acts of Kindness

“Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”

- Scott Adams

If two words that come to my mind, used more often with negative connotation than positive, are ‘imitation’ and ‘stereotype’. So on what instance could you possibly use imitation or stereotype, to create a positive impact? I gave it a long thought and then I started to connect the dots. Random acts of kindness may leave a long lasting impression and such deeds inspire people to imitate and spread a positive stereotype.

Though most humans claim to be non-judgmental, seldom are they what they claim. It’s human nature to judge, and judge in a way that he/she experiences at the first go. Hence an adage such as “first impression is the last impression” has ever lasted. Now the question that arises is what these random acts of kindness are and how they generate a positive stereotype? And how would these acts generate imitation?

I generally keep my own experience as a last option, to post here, but I didn’t find anything more compelling than it to make my point. This incident dates back to last summer when I and a friend were on a vacation, in a different state. Being new to the town and having no knowledge about the transport system, we decided to ask a couple about how to get to a particular location. They not only gave us clear directions but also offered us a ride to that place and a drop back to our hotel, if wished to. Though I and my friend declined their offer, their kind gesture certainly made us happy. One of the conclusions we drew was, people from this state are so kind. (The climate & culture varies sharply in the US, from state to state). This act had left a deep impression on my mind and I wanted to emulate it with someone. Life gave me an opportunity nearly 9 months later, to fulfill my desire. While I was riding back home, a couple, which was new to Bangalore asked me for directions to a particular location, at a traffic light. Though I gave them the directions, I could read the confusion on their faces. So, I asked them to follow me, and ensured they reached their destination. When they realized I rode in a totally opposite direction, just to make it easy for them, they were deeply impressed with my gesture. They asked me for my details and days later added me on a social networking site. I also got a thank you note from them. It feels equally good to be a beneficiary as well as a benefactor involving random acts of kindness.

Though you could be strangers, yet people may view you as an ambassador of your country, state, city, family, culture, values per se. If everyone viewed such instances in life as a good opportunity to spread a positive feeling, the world would be a better place to live in. They say, people helping people, is what life all about, isn't it?